


Ramble on

by SquirrelWinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Badass female character, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Jealous Dean, Protective Dean Winchester, Strong Female Characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-11 23:22:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5645572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquirrelWinchester/pseuds/SquirrelWinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader is a hunter who stumbles upon the Winchester boys on a hunt. Dean and her click immediately, but the hunter life doesn't leave much room for romance. They become good friends, but as their feelings grow, will they be able to leave it at that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a multi-chapter story I have had in my head for a long time, so I really hope you like it!

It was a day just like any other. Another city, another hunt. Sam and Dean entered the bar and started scanning the place for any suspicious behavior. They were hunting a Ghoul, a nasty monster that already killed three young women, and from what they could find out, he found all three of his victims in this joint. So they settled by the bar, ordered two beers and watched intently around them, looking for clues. There were a lot of people since it was Friday night, especially young women looking for some fun and that made their job even more difficult. They jumped up a couple of times and ran after a couple leaving, but it turned out to be a false alarm and they came back to their seats, feeling more and more desperate. After an hour, Dean noticed a beautiful woman entering the bar; she was tall and slim but curvy, dressed in tight jeans and a tank top, but still didn’t look cheap. She hardly wore any make-up, but was still one of the most beautiful girls in the bar, if not in the entire town. She walked confidently, her short curly Y/H/C hair twirling around her beautiful face as she scanned the people inside shortly and settled opposite them on the other side of the bar, ordering a club soda. Soon after, there were already two or three men swarming around her, offering her drinks. She spoke to all of them shortly and then turned them down politely with a smile, and every time she smiled, Dean found himself smiling too, wishing that she would smile at him. Sam noticed his stare and tried to pull his attention back to the case:   
“Dean, she is beautiful, I’ll give you that, but please remember that we are on a case. Can you concentrate on all girls, not just that one?”  
“Sure, sure Sammy” Dean mumbled and looked around him, but his eyes went every now and then on their own will towards her. After twenty minutes, he noticed a creepy looking guy next to her and she seemed interested in their conversation for the first time. It was the longest she spoke to anyone and Dean wandered why she picked up the creepiest guy in there. She even started playing with her hair, obviously flirting and he put an arm casually on her hip. She tensed a little at the contact, but then relaxed and whispered something in his ear. The guy smiled widely, fished some bills from his back pocket and placed them on the bar and they started together towards the door.  
Dean just couldn’t believe that she left with this man and mumbled to Sammy “be right back” as he followed them out of the bar. Once outside, he noticed them walking towards the dark park and got a really weird feeling about it all, so he dialed Sammy’s number: “I think I have him, come to the park” he said quickly.   
“On my way” Sammy answered and Dean started towards the park where the woman and the creep disappeared to. It was pitch dark and he couldn’t see anything, but he heard a muffled sound coming from behind a thick tree, so he took his silver knife and ran towards it. He heard Sam behind him and he motioned that he should go to the other side of the tree and surround the monster, but when they jumped simultaneously around, the man was lying down on his back, and the woman had her knee on his neck, holding his head by the hair and quickly sliced his throat with a small silver knife. She saw them then and her expression turned from smug to chagrin. 'Oh, no, I now have to explain this' she thought to herself and straightened up from the corpse, putting her hands up in surrender.   
“Easy boys, I can explain this” she said, looking first at Sam and then at Dean, but then she noticed their silver knives and exhaled. “But I don’t have to, do I” she smirked. “You are hunters too” she pointed to their knives and they both lowered their arms and put the knives back in their pockets.   
“Yeah, we are hunters” Dean smirked towards her “I knew that a woman like you would never leave with a sleaze ball like him”   
“A woman like me?” she leaned her head a little to the right, looking at him questioningly.  
“Yeah” Dean said surprised “Beautiful” and smiled at her cockily.  
She blushed a little, but quickly composed herself and snickered “Yeah, yeah, sure. I’m Y/N by the way. But you can call me Y/N/N.” She extended her hand towards Dean and he grabbed it quickly.   
“Hi Y/N/N. I’m Dean and this is my brother Sam.” She looked at them astonished.   
“The Winchesters? Well Dean and Sam, I believe we have met before. I’m Y/N Y/L/N. Rufus kind of adopted me after my parents got killed and left me as a child a couple of times at Bobby’s together with you two. Remember?”   
Sammy smiled widely: “Of course! Y/N, the little girl with the pig tails. You didn’t speak much back then.”   
Dean chuckled “Yeah, probably because her nose was always buried in a book. Well Y/N, I have to admit that you grew up great” he said eyeing her appreciatively and she groaned, but couldn’t help feeling flattered. Sam cleared his throat loudly and gave Dean his best bitch face.   
“Sorry about my brother, he just can’t help it” he said apologetically and Y/N smiled:   
“Yeah, I remember. The last time I saw you, we were 8 and he was 12 and even then he flirted with all the girls in the neighborhood.” Dean chuckled again.   
“Well guys, as much as I would like to catch up, I still have a body to dispose of” she said and started lifting the heavy corpse. Dean and Sam jumped to help her.   
“We’ll carry him to our car, you just look around and make sure that nobody sees us” Sam said and she smiled. “Wow, what gentlemen. Thanks guys, but you know I can do it myself.”   
“No, no, consider it a thank you from us for doing our job” Dean said and winked at her. She smiled and followed them, feeling a little dizzy from the looks he gave her. She admired him when she was a child, maybe even had a small crush on him, that’s why she always hid behind her books and watched him strolling around Bobby’s like he owned the place. He was larger than life even then and now, as she took in his strong muscular chest, his penetrating green eyes and his full lips, she couldn’t help it, but think about them all over her.   
They carried the body to the Impala, put it in the trunk and Dean turned towards her again.   
“So Y/N, will you join us for a beer? Our treat?” he said hopefully.   
She hesitated for a while and then said: “Well, maybe one” and they all went back to the bar.   
They sat and talked for a long time, laughing about the days when they were children and sharing hunting stories. All of them were relaxed and in no hurry to leave any time soon, so they were taken by surprise when they noticed that they were the last people there, the bartender eyeing them angrily, wanting to lock up and go home. They stood up and went towards the parking lot. She came to her truck and took a deep breath.   
“Well, it was really nice to see you guys. Maybe we can do this again sometime” and started climbing in the drivers’ seat.   
“Wait, where are you going?” Dean asked, grabbing her arm.   
“Well, I haven’t been home in a while, and I live in Kansas, so it’s only a couple of hours away” she said, feeling the electricity from his fingers on her bare skin.  
“We are also driving to Kansas” Sam exclaimed. “We have a bunker in Lebanon. Maybe you should come and visit us” he said excitedly. She narrowed her eyes at him and then looked at Dean and at his hand on her arm. He released his grip immediately and his cheeks turned a little red. ”Sorry” he mumbled and looked at her pleadingly “But you should really come. We have no new hunts, so we’ll probably hang there the next few days. Please?”   
She smiled and just couldn’t say no. “Ok. I’m about an hour away from Lebanon, so maybe tomorrow evening? I’ll call you if I can make it” she said and quickly climbed in, but then rolled her window down. “Umm, a number wouldn’t be bad?” she smirked.   
Sammy jumped “Of course, here” gave her his number and she smiled at them and sped off, waiving her hand through the open window. “See ya”   
Sam and Dean stood there and watched her drive away, both of them slightly dazed from her.   
“Well she is really something” Sam chuckled under his breath and Dean couldn’t agree more.   
“She sure is.” They climbed in the Impala and drove off after her in the same direction.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader comes for a visit at the bunker.

The next day they were both excited and cleaned around the bunker trying to make it presentable for her visit. Dean looked every five minutes at the phone, expecting her call and got increasingly nervous as the day drew to its end. “What if she doesn’t call at all?” he grumbled to Sammy after the sun went down and there was still no sign of her. “We didn’t even get her number.”   
“Relax Dean, she said she’ll call” Sammy snickered. “You really like her, don’t you?” he said, looking at his big brother.   
“No” he almost yelled, but then backtracked and said quietly “Yeah, I mean she is great. What’s not to like?”   
At that moment the phone rang and they both jumped a little and hurried to answer it.   
“Hallo?” Sammy said and her voice came from the other side.   
“Hi, it’s Y/N. So, I am in Lebanon. Where should I come?” Sam clapped his hands happily and gave her the coordinates to the bunker and Dean ran outside to meet her at the entrance. She was there in 5 minutes, driving like a maniac and skidding to a stop just a few feet away from him, a huge cloud of dust surrounding her. She was more excited than she wanted to admit to herself and as she saw Dean standing there, leaning on the Impala, smirking at her, her heart stopped and she started shaking a little. 'Calm down Y/N' she yelled at herself mentally, took a deep breath and started towards him. Dean gulped at the sight of her. She was wearing a light summer dress just above her knees, with a deep cleavage and cowboy boots. The thin material clung to her skin, and as she jumped out of her truck the summer wind lifted her dress a little, showing her long legs. He swallowed hard, not able to move, mesmerized and as she smiled, small dimples appeared on her cheeks and he knew that he was lost. She came to stand in front of him and gave him a small hug and he inhaled deeply, her scent hitting him like a tidal wave. His arms lingered a little longer than it was strictly necessary on her shoulders and she didn’t move back, just looked at him a little confused. He cleared his throat and mumbled “Hi Y/N, good to see you.”   
She released him reluctantly and they started towards the entrance where Sam was already waiting. He was excited to see her too and started talking immediately, showing her around and telling her everything about the bunker and the Men of letters. Dean followed them around, mainly staying quiet, not sure what to say and afraid that he’ll do something stupid, like maybe jump her and kiss her, as he was imagining doing from the first moment he saw her. After a while, they settled in the library and talked about movies, music, Rufus and Bobby and everything that came to their minds. Dean even called Cas to come and meet her, and as he appeared out of thin air she jumped a little from joy and gave him a hug, leaving him astound and lost for words. He smiled awkwardly and they all laughed out loud at his reaction, but he quickly collected himself and soon after they all relaxed and really enjoyed their evening. Around midnight she stood up to leave, and all three men grunted loudly and begged her to stay the night. She protested, saying that she didn’t have any other clothes with her, and Dean gladly offered to loan her one of his t-shirts for sleeping. She hesitated for a while but then gave in and they all continued drinking and laughing until the early morning.

When she curled in bed in one of the spare bedrooms that night, she inhaled Deans’ scent from his shirt deeply and slept better than in a long while. This place and the boys felt really good and she was afraid that she would miss this feeling when she left, but tonight she was content and decided to savor the feeling and enjoy this as long as it lasted.   
Dean didn’t sleep very well. He was tossing in bed and couldn’t calm himself enough for a long time. He felt her presence down the hall from him and that made him want to go to her room and grab her, but he knew that that was not an option. Not with her. She was too good for him and that thought made him sad, but at the same time, he felt like there was hope for something beautiful in his life and that hope made him restless. He craved some peace after all the shit that life gave him until now, and he knew that she could bring it to him. Only, he wasn’t sure that she even saw him like that, and he wasn’t sure that he even wanted her to feel the same. Was he so selfish that he was willing to drag her into his life and all the nightmares he faced every day? Yes, she was a hunter, but there was still hope for her to leave this life behind and he knew that this would never happen for him, so he warred with his desires and with his mind until he fell in a shallow sleep. 

He woke up the next day with a jolt. Someone was knocking at his door and he jumped quickly up, opening it. Y/N was standing there, dressed only in his t-shirt that was more like a dress for her and smiled shyly.   
“I made pancakes for breakfast. Would you like some?” she asked flashing her dimples and he couldn’t help it but smile back as widely as he could.   
“Really? That’s great Y/N. I’ll be there in a minute.” She smiled and walked away and he watched her until she disappeared behind the corner, brushed his teeth and hurried into the kitchen following the delicious smell of fresh made pancakes. She and Sammy sat at the table and chatted and he joined them, gulping 5 pancakes down and praising her cooking skills every two minutes.   
“Ha, ha, glad you like them. That’s about everything I can make in the kitchen. And pie. Never learned to really cook a meal” she joked, but Dean just stared at her with wide eyes.   
“Really? You can bake a pie? Sammy, lock the door. She is not going anywhere” he joked and they all laughed out loud, but he was actually serious. He never wanted her to leave.   
The day flew by really quickly and as it started to darken she sighed and stood up, ready to go home. Sam and Dean tried to persuade her to stay one more day, but this time she refused, knowing that reality would hit pretty soon and that they all had work to do. She already found a nest of vamps in Montana and wanted to drive there tomorrow, and Sam and Dean promised Cas to help him with some rogue angels, so after a strangled good bye she jumped into her truck and left, leaving Sam and Dean and the bunker empty again, only her scent lingering behind.


	3. Chapter 3

Life went on as usual. She continued running from one case to another, Sam and Dean doing the same. They talked often on the phone, but it wasn’t enough for anybody. Dean really missed her, dreaming about her every night. Sam missed the lightness and simplicity of life she brought with her, and missed seeing his brother happy. Y/N missed everything. Sam and his wits, the bunker that gave her a sense of security and home, but mostly she missed Dean. She was pretty sure that she fell in love with him and kicked herself every time she found herself daydreaming about him. 'That’s what gets you killed Y/N' she repeated over and over again, but still, she couldn’t get him out of her mind. So the first chance she had, she drove to Kansas and visited them again, this time staying a little longer. After a month she came back again, and her visits started being more often and longer every time she went there. After 6 months she stopped going to her apartment at all, and just crashed at the bunker whenever she was between cases. Sam and Dean were overjoyed every time she came and the sadness was tangible when she would leave, and Dean found himself holding his breath until she came again, when he was finally able to breathe again freely. His feelings for her grew stronger every day, but he was very afraid that admitting them to her might drive her away completely, so he settled on just being her friend and contended himself with the small touches as they hugged, with slowly caressing her hair as she lay her head on his shoulder while they watched a movie, or as they sat next to each other in a narrow boot in the bar they often went to celebrating their latest successful hunts. She never hunted with them, always going on her own, and Dean was worried sick about her every time and called her every few hours to check if she was ok. She found it sweet that he cared so much about her, but it was becoming increasingly more difficult to hide her feelings from him. Every little touch left her reeling for more; every time she looked at his green eyes, she craved for his kiss. She found herself biting her lips whenever she rushed down the road to the bunker, anticipation gnawing in her stomach at the thought of his arms around her as he would hug her tightly and check her over for injuries after every hunt. But as much as it hurt that she couldn’t have him, the thought of losing him and Sammy completely was even more painful, so she grit her teeth and smiled and smacked him on the shoulder playfully and hid her longing as well as she could. 

The next hunt she went on was a mess. The one vetala turned into two, and before she could react, the second one sliced her pretty deeply in a couple of places. Finally she was able to kill her too, and somehow drive herself back home to the bunker, but she lost a lot of blood and almost fainted a couple of times while driving. When she stopped in front of the bunker, she didn’t have the energy to step out anymore, so she just lowered her head on the wheel and pressed the horn shortly, hoping that she would wake one of the boys up as it was the middle of the night, before she finally gave into the darkness and passed out. Dean heard the roar of the engine outside the bunker as he was hardly sleeping when she was away and jumped towards the entrance to meet her. But as he heard the short hunk he felt that something was wrong and ran outside. When he saw her lying there unconscious, blood covering her from head to toe, his heart almost stopped. He grabbed her into his arms and carried her inside, screaming for Sammy who came out of his room sleepily and paled at the sight of her. They put her in Deans’ bed and undressed her, assessing her wounds and debating whether they should take her to the hospital or not. Just at that moment she opened her eyes and whispered “no doctors, please” before she passed out again, and Sam and Dean did their best to clean her wounds and stitch her up. Deans’ hands trembled so much that Sam had to do all the work, while he winced watching him, staring at her pale face and praying that she’ll be all right. He called Cas to heal her, although he knew that he was deep in heaven and probably didn’t have his ears on, and cursed and swore loudly at everything, mad at her, mad at himself, mad at the world. When Sam finished with the stitches, he left to get some sleep and Dean stayed next to her the whole night, clenching her hand and whispering “Please baby, wake up. You’ll be all right. You have to be all right.” Tears fell down his face and he promised himself that he would never let her leave on her own again, knowing that she’ll probably object, but not really caring about that. All he cared about was her, and the prospect of losing her clouded his mind and brought him pain he never felt before.   
She woke up after 12 hours; the first thing she saw were Deans’ red eyes pinned to her face. Despite all the pain she smiled, her heart swelling from the concern written all over his face, and some other emotion. Fear and love maybe? She wasn’t sure, but she was sure that she would take any pain just to wake up to his eyes again. Dean jumped out of his chair as he saw her eyes open and yelled for Sammy who came running in at the next second.   
“Worried boys?” she croaked out, her throat dry.   
“Shh, don’t speak” Dean whispered, trying to smile a little. “Are you in pain? Do you need anything, what can I get you?” His hands fluttered all around her, not sure what to do.   
“Relax Dean I’m ok. I’ll survive, don’t worry” she tried to raise her hand but winced in pain and Dean all but growled at her.   
“No, I said don’t move Y/N.” His voice softened at her expression “Just please try to stay put for once in your life. Please. You don’t know how much you scared us.” His throat constricted, tears threatening to start falling again and she patted his hand that was next to hers and whispered “Ok, I promise.” He exhaled and relaxed a little from her touch. Sammy checked her forehead for fever and looked at the bandages.   
“I’ll get you something to drink and then we’ll have to clean your wounds again and change the bandages. Please listen to Dean and be a good girl ok?” He kissed her forehead lightly and left. She closed her eyes at the touch, wishing that it was Dean kissing her and he clenched his fists at that, thinking that she enjoyed it a little too much for his liking. Jealousy hit him hard and his face hardened. She saw the change in his expression and looked at him confused, but he turned around and hid his eyes, mumbling “I’ll be right back” and went to the bathroom. He knew that this reaction was irrational, but still couldn’t help himself. He was relieved that she seemed better, but the fear of losing her was still etched deep inside his soul and he just didn’t know how to deal with these feelings, so he hid in the bathroom until he heard Sammy return and then went inside again to help him with the cleaning of the wounds. Y/N was more than confused. She saw how Dean was worried and her heart skipped a beat at the thought that he might care for her too, but at the same time, his stance was tensed and he never looked her in the eyes, no matter how much she tried to catch his look. So she just lay there, not really feeling the pain of her wounds, wandering what was going on with Dean. Sam was impressed by the lack of sound from her and Dean was in awe. She must be in so much pain, and she still hardly acknowledged it. Sam and Dean looked at each other wondering if she was awake at all, but her eyes were open and she blinked a couple of times, so they concluded that she must be the bravest woman they had ever met. When they were finished, she whispered “thank you” and closed her eyes in gratitude, tears slipping down her cheeks. Dean jumped at that sight and wiped them gently away.   
“Does it hurt Y/N?” he asked, desperation coloring his voice.   
“No, no” she said relishing his touch. “It’s just that, I don’t know what I would have done without you boys. You are the closest thing to a family that I have.”   
Sam grabbed her hand and Dean pressed his burning lips on her cheek.   
“And we love you too Y/N” Sam said smiling widely, but the emotions strong on his face. “Just take better care of yourself in the future.”   
Dean pulled away, looked her deep in the eyes for the first time since she woke up and smiled a little. “Don’t worry about anything. I’ll be here if you need me, as long as you need me. And no more hunts alone for you” he added at the end, his voice getting that edge again.   
“What?” she gulped and Sam looked at him shaking his head.   
“Not now Dean” he warned him, but Dean couldn’t be stopped.   
“I’m not letting you out of my sight again Y/N” he said almost threateningly and she narrowed her eyes at him, not really sure how to react. She didn’t have the energy to argue right now, so she just turned her head to the other side and harrumphed. Deans’ face softened at the lack of her reaction and he sat back on the chair next to her.   
“You can sleep now again. I’ll be here” he said soothingly and grabbed a book from the small table.   
“You don’t have to sit there Dean…” Y/N started, but he just shook his head and lowered his eyes to the book, so she gave up and closed her eyes, her head swimming from all the emotions and the pain meds they gave her. Sammy looked at Dean long and shook his head and then left. Dean dropped the book as soon as the door closed and put his head in his hands, not sure what he was going to do.  
Y/N slept the whole day and almost through half the night and Dean never left her side. He only went to the bathroom to take a quick shower when he felt that he was going to lose the battle against sleep, grabbed a coffee and the sandwich Sammy made for him and came back to sit by her bed. As she opened her eyes in the middle of the night, he was right there beside her, his head dropped on his chest, lightly snoring. She smiled and her heart swelled again from the emotions, and she watched him for a while, his peaceful face warming up her entire body. But she had to use the bathroom really badly and she grabbed his hand and shook it lightly.   
“Dean, wake up. That must be really uncomfortable” she whispered and his eyes shot open.   
“Y/N, are you ok?” his first words. She smiled and blushed.   
“Yes, yes, don’t worry. I just have to pee really badly. Do you think you can help me to the bathroom?”   
He jumped up and smiled. “Sure, don’t worry” and lifted her gently in his arms, trying to not stir her wounds. She winced slightly, but managed to hide the pain and he groaned as he felt her body tensing from the pain.   
“Sorry, sorry” he mumbled, but she squeezed his arm and laid her head on his chest.   
“It’s ok Dean, thanks” He put his lips on her head and inhaled deeply.   
“I’ve got you baby, don’t worry. I’ve got you” and carried her to the adjoined bathroom, put her gently down on the floor and stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do next. She shoved him lightly away and chuckled and he turned red and exited the room, closing the door behind him and swallowing hard. When she was done, she put the seat top down and sat on it, too weak to even walk to the door and called “Dean” as loud as she could. It came out as a whisper, but still he heard her and hurried in, lifting her again in his arms and carrying her back to bed. He laid her down again, and as he wanted to pull away, she grabbed his arm and wouldn’t let it go.   
“Dean, will you please lay here with me?” she pleaded and he gulped, his heart stopping, but complied and laid next to her over the sheets, afraid that he’ll hurt her if he slid under them. She chuckled and turned towards him, snuggling up to his side as close as possible and grabbed his hand, intertwining her fingers with his and closed her eyes, sighing contently. He stopped breathing, afraid that if he moved he’ll squish her or wake up from this incredible dream. She was so close to him that he could hear her heartbeat and her warmth overwhelmed him completely. He lost himself in the feeling of joy. When he heard her steady breath and was sure that she was sleeping, he slipped his arm under her head and pulled her on his chest and she moaned lowly, sending shivers down his spine. He buried his nose in her hair and fell asleep, exhaustion and happiness taking completely over him.


	4. Chapter 4

Sammy woke them up the next morning, smiling slightly at the sight of both of them, her sleeping on his chest and he clutching her hand as if his life depended on it. He cleared his throat loudly and both their eyes snapped open, first confusion and then realization washing over them, both turning a little bit red. Y/N tried to move first, but Deans grip on her tightened and he looked at Sammy challenging him to say anything. Sam just smiled:  
“You two want some breakfast? And Y/N’s wounds needs a change.”  
She smiled too, said “thanks Sammy” and looked up at Dean. He sighed and released his grip on her, taking one last deep breath and slowly rising, trying not to stir her too much. Just before he was completely away from her, she turned her head towards him and her warm breath caressed his ear:  
“Thanks Dean. For everything” she whispered and smiled. “Until tonight.” He gulped and looked at her long, smiled widely and managed to somehow tear himself away from her, her promise ringing through his head.  
“Until tonight” he whispered and followed after Sammy. 

Y/N was feeling better today. She even left the bed for a while, going to the bathroom by herself and changing into another Deans’ t-shirt, as all her shirts were too tight. Dean hovered over her protectively, and although she was feeling good enough to walk from the bathroom by her own, she still called him to carry her back, wanting to see his smile as he did so. Taking care of her made him happy, and she wanted to give him this, after all he had done for her. They watched a movie with Sammy and as it was over, Dean all but kicked him out of the room, saying that it was late and that Y/N needed her rest, eager to lie down in bed and pull her on his chest again. She wasn’t that tired, but she was happy to oblige, feeling safe and loved in his arms.

After a week of this routine Y/N’s wounds healed up to the point where they couldn’t pretend anymore that she needed constant attention, so she moved back to her room reluctantly. Dean missed her presence so much, that he couldn’t sleep the next two nights alone in his bed. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, but he couldn’t. Every time he tried, his words got stuck in his throat and he chickened out. She knew that Dean felt something for her, but was so terrified of being wrong and losing them both if she admitted her love, that she kept her mouth shut and slowly, things got back to where they were before she got hurt. Small touches, long looks when the other wasn’t looking and restless nights. Sammy rolled his eyes every time he saw them sighing, but decided to stay out of it, as Dean was never one to talk about his feelings, and Y/N shut him off every time he tried.

They never talked about hunting again after that first time when she was hurt and Y/N hoped that Dean had gotten over it, so one day a month later, when she was as good as knew, she came to the library declaring that she found a case in Wyoming and that she’ll be leaving in the morning. Dean dropped the book he was holding and it fell with a loud thump on the floor and clenched his fists together, fury written all over his face.  
“You what? Are you crazy Y/N? After what happened to you? Over my dead body” he jumped from the chair knocking it over. Sammy jumped up as well trying to calm his brother, but he too objected.  
“Y/N, are you sure you’re up to this? Maybe you should wait a little longer, or one of us could come with you?” he tried calmly, but Y/N just shook her head, her voice steady, but anger burning behind it from Deans’ reaction.  
“No Sammy. You know the rules. I hunt alone. Besides, I’ve been hurt before, even worse than this, and that has never stopped me. So I’m going tomorrow” she looked at Dean as she said the last words and he took two long strides towards her and got his face into hers screaming.  
“No way I’m letting you go alone Y/N. I’ll tie you up if I have to” his face so close to hers that she could feel his warm breath. She closed her eyes briefly and gritted her teeth, not being able to control her anger any longer.  
“I’m not your property Dean, and you are not my father, nor my brother, nor my boyfriend” she winced at that as she saw the hurt flash in his eyes before he hid it. “So why should I listen to you?” she challenged him.  
He reached up to grab her and kiss her, but at the last moment changed his mind, lowered his hands and stepped away from her.  
“You’re right. Who am I to tell you anything?” his pain slipping involuntarily with the words. She gasped and tried to grab him, but he turned around and left the room, slamming the door of his bedroom. Her eyes swelled with tears and she turned towards Sammy, who just stood there, not knowing what to do, or say. She wiped her tears and went to her room, closing the door behind her and throwing herself on the bed, loud sobs leaving her chest. She cried for hours hugging her pillow, wishing more than anything that Dean would come and swipe her in his arms, but as the hours passed she finally saw that that wasn’t gonna happen, so she slowly stood up, packed her bag and left even earlier than she planned.  
Dean stayed in his room the whole day, fury and worry eating at him away. When he finally gathered the courage to go to her room, she was already gone. So he went to the library, pulled a bottle of whiskey out and drank for the next three days.


	5. Chapter 5

While she was away he never called. Not even once. Not even one text in three days. Sam called constantly, but he never spoke about Dean and she didn’t ask. The hunt went without a problem, and as always, she hurried back to her boys to tell them all about it, but as she pulled in front of the bunker, this time Dean was not there to meet her like usually, crushing her in his big hug, just happy to see that she is ok. The bunker was really quiet and she already thought that they were not here when she heard a noise from the library. She went slowly in, and her heart constricted as she saw Dean sitting in the armchair with a bottle of whiskey in his hand, his eyes glued to the door. He didn’t say anything as she slowly approached him, just looked at her with some emotion on his face that she couldn’t determine. Was it anger? Relief? Love? Hate? She wasn’t sure, so she stopped a few feet away from him, not sure what to expect. After a long silence she finally spoke:   
“So, I’m back. Not a scratch on me.” She waited and waited, but he just stared at her, so she sighed, slowly turned around and started towards her room.   
“Yes, this time” he said through his teeth. She turned around, anger washing over her again, but she controlled it. “That’s the life Dean. We all know the risks. But that’s not a reason to crawl under a blanket and never leave the bunker again. You know that I’m not cut out for a normal life. This is my life” she tried to reason with him, but his eyes hardened and she recoiled from his cold voice:   
“Yeah, just don’t come running to me again next time some monster cuts you open.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them, but now they were out and it was too late and the pain in her eyes made him swallow hard. Tears started falling down her cheeks and he reached to brush them away, but she stepped back from him and lifted her hands and shook her head.   
“Don’t worry Dean, I won’t. I’m sorry I was such a burden to you. It will never happen again” and she ran out of the room, her whole world tumbling down, the weight of her loneliness crashing her heart. She slammed the door of her room and Dean fell back in the chair and closed his eyes feeling like suffocating. He wanted so much to run to her and hug her and tell her that he didn’t mean that and that he loved her more than life itself, but he was too drunk and too tired and too desperate to even consider that she’ll forgive him, so he just stayed there, took another swig from the whiskey and wished he was dead. Anything to take this pain away.   
Sammy heard the commotion and ran to Y/N’s room, barged in, and when he saw her crumbled on the floor, lifted her up in his arms and sat on the bed, pulling her in his lap. He rocked her back and forth while she cried, for hours, not saying anything. When she was finally cried out he laid her in bed, covered her and whispered “good night” turned the lights off and left her to sleep.  
He went to look for his idiot of a brother and found him passed out from the booze in the library. He shoved him hard and when he stirred, helped him into his room, where he collapsed on top of his bed and started snoring loudly.  
That was it. He was gonna tell them off both in the morning. This was becoming more and more ridiculous every day and he just couldn’t see them suffer like this any longer.

In the morning, Y/N woke up with a terrible headache and started towards the kitchen to get some aspirin and a coffee, hoping that Dean or Sam won’t be there. She didn’t have the energy or the will to deal with any of them right now. Luckily the kitchen was empty, so she made herself some coffee and collapsed in the chair, her legs up and her head buried between her knees.   
Dean woke up with a jolt and remembered everything from last night and ran to Y/N’s room to tell her how sorry he was, and when he saw that it was empty, he went to the kitchen, hoping that he’ll find her there. But when he saw her sitting there, broken, he took a step back and ran. He made her like this. He took all her spirit from her and he couldn’t face what he had done. He hid all day in his room, not even coming out when Sammy called him for lunch, or when he said that he wanted to talk to him.   
“Just leave me alone Sammy” he growled at the locked door and buried his head back in his hands.   
Y/N stayed in her room too, although she left it for some food and a short talk with Sammy. She cut him off as he asked about what happened last night and wouldn’t talk about Dean at all, so he gave up and promised himself to try again tomorrow. But the next day was no better. Dean and Y/N emerged from their rooms, but never stayed in the same room long enough to talk. They avoided each other as much as they could and Sam was beginning to get desperate. After the third day of the same, he declared that he wanted to go out that night and guilted them both into coming with him, as he rarely ever wanted to go out. So they both agreed and Y/N decided to finally put the whole Dean fiasco behind her and try to move on from him, so she put her best red dress on, the one she knew hugged all her curves, even put some make –up on and a red lipstick and a pair of red heels. She looked at herself in the mirror and nodded satisfied and went to the front room to wait for the boys. As they came, they both gulped at the sight of her. Sammy smiled widely and whistled.   
“Wow Y/N, you look great.”   
Dean stood there with his mouth open, his eyes roaming hungrily all over her body, settling on her red lips. He couldn’t move or talk, so Sam snapped his fingers in front of him to wake him up from his daze. He swallowed hard and turned his eyes away from her, so she turned around and walked off. Sammy snickered into her ear:   
“I think you broke him” and she chuckled under her breath, but Dean saw that and although he couldn’t hear what Sammy said, he growled deep in his throat, his fists clenching. She turned around at the sound and looked in his eyes, but all she could see was anger again, so she closed her eyes and turned again, walking towards the Impala and slipping into the back, avoiding all eye contact with Dean.   
As they entered the bar all eyes were on them. That is, all eyes were on Y/N. She was striding confidently in front of the two boys and all the men started drooling at the sight of her. Dean noticed the reaction she caused and almost snatched her and ran away with her before he controlled himself again. They sat on the bar and soon after men started coming and buying her drinks, touching her bare shoulder and flirting. She didn’t seem very interested in any of them, but continued smiling politely and trying to relax enough to actually start enjoying herself. So she drank a lot, soon feeling the booze slowly relaxing her. Dean sat there, literally on the verge of death, jealousy ripping him apart every time she smiled at someone, or laughed at their jokes or even looked at them. Sammy had to hold him down a couple of times as he wanted to jump up and rip someone’s hand from her shoulder, so he drank and watched and threw daggers with his eyes all around him. A couple of girls approached him, but he blew them off without even a glance, not taking his eyes off of Y/N. She noticed his stare and the way he didn’t seem interested in any other woman and that warmed her heart a little, but then she remembered his cold words and drank even more, trying to forget everything. After a couple of hours Dean couldn’t take it anymore, so when Sam went to the bathroom, he stood up and went to stand next to Y/N, grabbing her arm. She was smiling up at a young man who was swallowing her every word and casually touching her hip every now and then. She turned to Dean and forced a smile.   
“Yes?” she asked.   
“Your little game is over Y/N” he squeezed the words out between his teeth. “We are going home.”   
She looked at him and smirked: “You can go Dean; I’m staying here with Robert”   
“Richard” the young man corrected quickly.   
“Richard” she repeated and put an arm around his waist. Dean all but expired at that, grabbed her face and growled. “The hell you are.” He crushed her lips with so much fervor, that she gasped loudly. He pulled at her lower lip with his teeth, almost painfully, begging for entrance and she couldn’t resist it anymore and opened her mouth, surrendering with a moan. He groaned and his tongue rushed in, tasting her mouth, claiming her as his. They kissed for a long time until she lifted her hands up into his hair and twisted her fingers into it, and he pulled her by the waist so close to him that she could hardly breathe, his other hand in her hair, holding her face close to his, not letting her pull away even when she gasped for air. He pulled away reluctantly as Sammy approached them and cleared his throat, a huge smile on his lips.   
“Finally” he whispered and Dean grabbed her hand and turned to the man still standing there, now a look of chagrin and disappointment on his face.   
“Sorry pal, but this one is all mine” he snickered and her knees went weak as she heard that. He pulled her after him, all but running to the Impala, Sam close behind. As they came to the back door he went in first taking her by surprise and pulling her into him, throwing the keys to Sam.   
“Sammy, you drive.” Sam slid in the drivers’ seat still grinning widely and Dean pulled her against him, crushing her lips again. She gave in at once, not being able to resist his force even if she wanted to. And she didn’t. She felt like soaring, her heart beating erratically, threatening to jump out of her chest and she moaned lowly every time his teeth grazed her lips, her ear lobe, her collarbone, her throat. His hands were all over her; over her shoulders, her neck, her breasts, her waist, down her dress on her hips. Sam murmured something about patience from the front seat, but they didn’t listen, or care. As soon as the car stopped in the garage Dean jumped out, pulled her up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom, almost running. She chuckled and said “see ya Sammy” and his lips covered hers again, jealousy ripping through him even now, even at his little brother. As they entered his room, he kicked it close with his foot and slowly put her down on her feet, all the rush gone from his kiss. Now he was kissing her slowly, passionately, trying to convey every emotion he hid from her in the past few months. She leaned into him, letting him take the lead and relished the feeling of being in his arms, kissing him, loving him at last. They still didn’t say anything and it wasn’t necessary. Their eyes and touches said everything that was important. He slipped one strap from her dress down her shoulder and kissed the newly revealed skin, than the other. He reached around and undid the zipper and the dress slipped down, leaving her only in her red panties. At the sight of her bare breasts he gulped and swallowed hardly, all his determination to take this slowly, gone in a second. He lifted her up in his arms and she wrapped her legs around him, grinding her hips against his huge bulge and moaning loudly as his teeth found her nipples and started biting them gently. She threw her head back and a loud moan escaped her lips mixed with his name and he lost it. He all but tossed her down on the bed, ripping his clothes off, his erection springing free from his boxers as he pulled them down together with his jeans. She gasped loudly now and grabbed his hard cock in her hands, going up and down his lengths with her fingers, biting her lips. He started panting at the touch and almost came, but gritted his teeth and controlled himself, pulling her panties off and standing up by the bed, admiring her naked body.   
“Jesus Y/N you are going to unman me. You are so beautiful that it hurts” he whispered and she lifted her arms and pulled him on her.   
“Fuck me Dean, now, please” she panted in his ear, and that was the sexiest sound he had ever heard, so he threw himself on her again, kissing her lips, her neck, her nipples, his fingers finding her pussy and one slipping inside of her.   
“So wet and tight” he groaned and started kissing her down, his tongue whipping around her clit. She moaned loudly, arching her back and lifting her pussy closer to his mouth. He grinned and put an arm to her stomach to hold her down, slipping another finger in, licking and sucking her clit at the same time.   
“Deeean” she moaned “I’m gonna come!”   
“Come for me baby” Dean said and as he crooked his fingers inside her, she screamed out his name and came hard all around him, tossing and turning her hips under his hand. He smiled widely and quickly climbed over her, slipping his cock into her slowly, inch by inch, prolonging her orgasm. Her wet tightness engulfed him and again he had to concentrate hard not to come, without even moving. As she came down from the best orgasm she ever had, she slowly opened her eyes, only to meet his staring at her lovingly. He kissed her long and hard, and she moved her hips, telling him to move. He started slowly, pulling almost all out and then slowly filling her up again and she soon found herself lost in the sensation, her orgasm approaching again, threatening to tear her body apart with its intensity. He felt her tightening around him and she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him even deeper inside. He lost all control and started pounding into her as fast and as hard as he could.   
“Deeean I’m gonna…” was all she managed before another orgasm crushed her, and he growled her name as he came deep inside her, planting himself there forever, marking her as his, and nobody else’s. She panted, grasping for air and he lowered his forehead to hers, looking her deep in the eyes. As both their breathing slowed, he pulled out of her, both of them wincing at the emptiness and cold and he wrapped her in his arms, pulling her head on his shoulder and intertwining their hands, just as they used to when she was hurt.   
“Mine” he whispered just before they fell into an exhausted sleep holding each other as tight as possible, afraid that the dream with dispel and they’ll wake up alone.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning she woke up before him, feeling his body crushing her. His leg was on her waist, his arms tight around her shoulders, his hand holding hers. She smiled widely, although she could hardly breathe and stayed there for a long time, just breathing him in. After a while she had an idea, and disentangled herself and stood up, put one of his t-shirts on and went to the kitchen to make him some pancakes, just like the first night she stayed at the bunker. Sammy was already up and in the kitchen and she regretted not putting any pants on, but after a while relaxed and they chatted animatedly, laughing at some silly joke Sam read in the newspaper while she was making the pancakes.   
Dean woke up in an empty bed, and only her scent reminded him that it wasn’t a dream what happened last night. He felt pain as he didn’t find her beside him and an irrational emptiness filled his soul as he rose and dressed and went to find her. He smelled the pancakes and smiled to himself, guessing that she was making them, but as he entered the kitchen, he saw her dressed only in his t-shirt, her hair all messed up and sexy, laughing out loud with Sammy who was sitting at the table and looking at her. Deans’ heart clenched at the picture, the jealousy creeping up again, erasing all rational thought from his head. He growled loudly and both Y/N's and Sam’s heads snapped up at him, confused looks on their faces. Sam straightened up in his chair and Y/N smiled widely at him, but then saw that cold look again, and her heart fell immediately, all lightness and happiness disappearing at his stare.   
“Hey Dean I was making…” she started, but he cut her off.   
“Yeah, I see what you were making” he said through clenched teeth, turned around and walked away.   
She froze at his words, and then slowly slid into the chair behind her, putting her head into her hands again, desperate at what to do.   
Dean went back to his room and slammed the door behind him, fury taking his whole body over. He knew that these feelings were irrational; he could still feel how she kissed him last night. He even could feel her love, but his self-doubt was stronger than everything else, and he slumped back on his back, grabbing her pillow and inhaling her still lingering scent, trying to calm himself down.

After a minute of desperation Y/N lifted her head slowly, resolve building in her aching heart. “No you are not gonna ruin this Dean Winchester” she whispered to herself and started towards his room, not even bothering to knock as she barged in. She saw him curled up on her side of the bed, hugging her pillow and the dam broke. She couldn’t hold it in any more. She ran to the bed, lifted his head, slid beneath him on the bed and held him until he opened his eyes and looked at her. “Listen to me Dean Winchester, you are a damn fool and I’m not gonna let you ruin our lives anymore. I love you, you stupid idiot, more than life itself and I don’t care if you don’t love me, I love you enough for the both of us. Do you understand me?”   
He gasped at her words, tears falling down his cheeks and he grabbed her in his arms, pulling her head to his chest, hugging her tightly, so tightly that she almost couldn’t breathe. But she didn’t care. She lifted her eyes towards him and saw his eyes closed, relief all over his face and a strange calm, one that she had never seen on his face before. “God baby, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that. How much I need you. How much I love you.” His words poured out, unstoppable and he seemed determined to tell her everything he tried so desperately to hide before.   
“When I woke up and you weren’t here, I thought that last night didn’t mean anything to you, and I choked. I really chocked. Because it meant everything to me Y/N. I have loved you and wanted you from the first moment I saw you. And when you were hurt, I was so worried and scared for you, that it frightened me. I have never felt anything like this before and I’m really frightened from the intensity of it all. But mostly I’m frightened from loosing you, one way or the other. I’m frightened that you’ll die on a hunt, or that you’ll finally see that I’m not good enough for you and that you’ll find somebody better. That you’ll leave me and take away the last piece of my wretched soul with you and that you’ll…” She cut him off with a passionate kiss, pushing him down on the bed and straddling him. When she pulled away gasping for air, she took his face in both her hands and looked him deep in his eyes:  
“Never Dean. I will never leave you. I will love you till my last breath leaves my body, and even after that. In heaven or in hell, you’ll always be my one and only thought. Never forget that.”   
He looked at her swallowing her every word, feeling a new sense of purpose creep into every cell of his body. His life got a whole new meaning now. Loving her and making her happy was his most important mission from now on. So he held her tight to him and started kissing her again, desire overtaking his whole body.   
She gave into the kiss, only breaking the contact to slip out of the shirt she was wearing.   
“Now make love to me Dean Winchester and then we can go and you can apologize to Sammy for your silly jealousy.” As she said that Deans’ lips covered her mouth again and he smiled widely.  
“Anything you say love. Anything” and he started down her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it! I finally finished it. Hope you'll enjoy :)

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so I hope there are no major mistakes. Anyway, I'm always happy to hear your opinion!


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